Truth Spell
by saveyou
Summary: What would have happened if Justin gave Alex, while under the Truth spell, the chance to say something about him? Jalex.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: My first chaptered Jalex fic! Egads! __;) __Let's see how it goes..._

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Truth Spell

It was six months today since Justin left. Alex could hear her mother's weeping through the wall as she pored over the most recent letter from her eldest son. No return address, a different postage every time. He sent one on the first of every month since he left. It always said the same thing.

_Dear Mom and Dad,_

_I'm safe. I love you._

_-Justin Russo_

Only Justin would sign his whole name in a letter to his parents. As if they wouldn't figure it out otherwise. Her brother was such a loser.

And she missed him so badly she ached. Sometimes it even hurt just to breathe. The pain never went away, it didn't even subside a bit. Every day hurt just as badly as the last, if not more. Their parents didn't understand why he was gone, it was so unlike him. Who would have ever picked Justin to be the one to run away from home? Justin. Perfect Justin. Honorable Justin. Her Justin. She could never tell them it was her fault. Just like everything else. It was all her fault.

At first she had tried to blame it on him. After all, he was the one cast the Truth Spell on her. She didn't have any control over it! Soon she learned that this wasn't like anything else she had experienced. This wasn't something she could pass the blame off on another. This was real. Scary and more real than anything her life had ever brought to her before. There were some days she hated him for casting that spell and there were others that she was grateful for it. Despite the aftermath, at least they had the truth. No more hiding.

They were in school, of all places it had to happen, it was in the school hallway. Alex had to roll her eyes at that. Justin didn't believe she had fairly (or legally) received the Citizenship Award and cast the Truth spell on her to prove it. It backfired of course.

Really, why would she lie about getting that kind of an award? She'd lie about how she obtained the newest Marvaati boots, about the paper she said she handed in but didn't, even about what the real expiration date was on the yogurt she handed him that morning, but about a _Citizenship Award_? Praise for doing something decent and good for the benefit of society? Please. He should have known better than that.

So then Justin was jealous, and she was actually excited about that, the result of the award on her brother was far better satisfaction she would have gotten from a measly piece of paper. Not to mention he had to _present_ it to her in front of the entire student body. How awesome was that? She relished seeing his head explode as he gave her the award. Upsetting Justin was her favorite pastime. They couldn't be like she really needed, so this was the closest thing she could find to match the level of intensity she felt. It's pathetic when you think about it, but she wasn't in a position to be choosy.

However, Alex didn't factor in his payback. Justin left the Truth spell on her, and having forgotten about it, she got up in front of the entire school and spoke her mind. That went well. She ended up completely ostracizing herself, but it meant nothing compared to what happened soon after.

Once she realized the Truth spell was still in effect, she demanded he take it off. Justin was infuriatingly smug, for once his plan to pull one over on her worked. Then he did the stupidest thing he could have ever done. He asked why she hadn't said anything about him.

Moron.

The hallway was clear and they had moved off to a corner to allow for a small amount of privacy. Small favors. He held up his wand, prepared to take the spell off before she said a word, he thought she would just start spewing horrible insults at him and was prepared to head it off at the pass. But then he hesitated. Oh, she could have killed him. Why did he have to hesitate!

"What would you want me to say about you, Justin? That there isn't a day that goes by where I wish you weren't my brother? I do think that. From the minute I wake up to the second before I fall asleep. You're smart, attractive, a total doofus, a complete freak, and the kindest person I have ever known. You have a way of making me feel like I'm the most important thing in the world. I hate that you're my brother, I can't bear it. I wish I had never been born into this family because then I wouldn't have to hate myself for feeling the things that I do. There are things I want from you that a sister should never want from her brother. I don't want shallow hugs and lame arguments where I can never say what I mean. I want us to hold hands and go on dates and have disgusting public displays of affection. I want to feel your lips on mine, I want to be able to make love with you, and wake up in the morning with you in my bed. I don't want other boys, I've tried, but I don't want them. I just want you, Justin, for the rest of my life I want you. I can't make it go away. You don't know how hard I've tried."

She clamped her hand over her mouth as her eyes were wide with horror. Did she really just speak those words? She couldn't have! One look at her brother's face and she knew she had. Not even when he was seasick that one time on the ferryboat when he was eleven had Justin ever been so pale.

He stumbled over the incantation to take off the Truth spell. It took him four tries before he got it right. His wand shook violently as he did it. Alex could only stand there mutely, staring at him. Then he walked away and she didn't do a thing to stop him.

The hours that followed were the longest of her life. She felt sick with dread. Panic was slowly beginning to drown her. She had never understood the concept of a nervous breakdown before, but that's what she was encroaching on. Honestly, she always thought she would end up carrying Harper through a few of them in the course of their friendship. Never her. She was Alex Russo, calm, habitually lazy, ambivalent, devious, and most likely to be on the Wizard's Most Wanted list before she was 20.

She paced back and forth in her room, trying to figure out some way that she could repair the damage between them. What she said couldn't stand. She had to erase it somehow. She was just about to run downstairs to the Lair to look up a memory spell to use on Justin when he walked in.

There was no knocking, no false pretenses. He looked as bad as she had ever seen him, bloodshot eyes, messy hair, still deathly pale. What she said had stripped him bare. Justin locked the door behind him and looked right into her with such an intense look in his gray eyes that it scared her.

"What are you doing?" she snapped, summoning every bit of strength she had to keep up her facade, but it wasn't going to hold for long. Right now she looked nonchalant and oblivious to whatever had taken place between them, but she was being ripped apart from the inside.

"We have to know, Alex. Once and for all. I can't live like this anymore."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Six months. Six letters. Every time another one arrived, she knew she should have felt relieved to know that at least he was alive and safe somewhere, but she wasn't. With every letter, it was like another piece of her heart was torn away. She bled just that much more. The wound only grew, never showing signs of healing.

They tried to find him, of course. Her Dad was still trying, but their options were quickly exhausted. Jerry used all his contacts from his days as a wizard to find his son, but Justin was smart, he cloaked himself well and knew better than to stay in the Wizard World where they could track him. Instead, he was somewhere in the Mortal World, of a legal age, and so there was nothing law enforcement could do to find him. They didn't believe he was missing, just assumed he left home. There was nothing more the Russo's could do but wait for his letter every month, just to know he was alright. It was all they had.

Another school day. Justin's god-awful alarm clock woke her up. It was a recording of himself emphatically humming Captain Jim-Bob Sherwood's theme song. Could he BE any more of a nerd? Such a thing seemed impossible. Yet, as annoying as he was, there was some deep rooted part of her that adored his geek-tastic ways. She couldn't help it! It made her sick sometimes how much it _didn't_ bother her (which bothered her all the more).

She laid there for a moment listening to his voice on the recording. God, he could be so dumb, it was embarrassing. Hearing his voice both hurt and eased the ache at the same time. For a few moments there, she could pretend he never left at all, that he would walk through the door and start yelling at her for the newest offense. He didn't though.

Eventually, she slapped the alarm clock off and threw back the covers, taking a moment to look around. No one in the family could bring themselves to touch anything in Justin's room after he left. They all seemed to be holding out on the chance that he would come back at any time and they could pick up where they left off. Only the sheets on his bed were changed. When his scent began to fade, Alex found a half-empty bottle of his cologne and sprayed it on the linens.

Her father gently rapped on the door. "You up yet?"

"Yeah, Dad," she sighed.

When she went down for breakfast, her parents were deep in conversation and unaware of her presence.

"She's slept in his bed every night since he left, Teresa. Don't you think we need to talk about this?"

Her mother was vigorously whisking something in a bowl and didn't look at him. "Alex is fine. She just misses her brother. We all do. But he'll be home soon."

"He's been gone for six months – we haven't seen any trace of where he could be. He's not using his magic because he knows we could track him. Honey, I don't know if-"

"Don't you dare!" she snapped. Some of the mixture slopped out, but she ignored it and kept on whisking. "He _is_ coming home. I know it."

Her father didn't know what else to say, he just stood there helplessly as his wife continued to make breakfast, never making eye contact with him. Right then, Alex knew she couldn't bear another minute of it. She snatched her backpack and quietly stole out of the apartment without being seen.

…

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Her attempt to be flippant failed miserably when her voice wavered mid-sentence and she gulped nervously. The look in his eyes, the way he was clenching his fists, Justin was outright scaring her now. She had never seen him this way before. Never. Is this what she did to him? God, how she wished she could take it back. Please, please, just let them go back to the way it was before.

She couldn't seem to take her eyes off him, not even to blink. They squared off in her bedroom, only a mere few feet away from each other, but there might as well have been an ocean dividing them for how it felt. He looked so fragmented; it was like she could see all the carefully composed pieces of him collapsing before her very eyes.

"Alex…" he started roughly and took a step towards her and then changed his mind, stepping back again.

"W-what?" she managed thickly and mentally chided herself for sounding so weak. Clearing her throat, she summoned all her resources, and said with a hint of annoyance, "What do you want, Justin? You can't just barge into my room like this."

She actually felt like patting herself on the back for how convincing she sounded.

"You know what I want," he replied darkly. "I know you do."

Why was she having so much trouble breathing?

He stepped toward her again, and the closer he got, the more her vision swam.

"I-I don't know… Justin, please…"

Façade gone. Vanished. Kaput. It seems with his increased proximity, her ability to put on a front was rendered nonexistent. It was all she could do to keep standing. Now she sounded exactly the way she felt: weak, vulnerable… absolutely terrified and utterly wanting.

Then he kissed her.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Instead of heading out to school like she was supposed to, Alex found herself standing in the Lair, taking her wand out of her boot. She did a quick double check around the room to ensure there was no one lurking around and raised the wand.

A mere second later, she was standing in a jungle. The heat smacked her full in the face and she groaned. Quickly, she peeled off her jacket and top layer so she was left in just her tank-top. Gratefully, she noted that at least she had decided on a skirt that morning rather than jeans.

Feeling slightly more comfortable now, she began to explore the clearing. There was no sign of them having been there, no sign of any human being having touched this place at all actually. Of course there wouldn't be. She reversed time, didn't she? That night by the fire never occurred, the search for the Stone of Dreams never happened, she never won the Wizard Battle.

And yet it did happen. She knew this was the same clearing they spent the night in. The one when their family came to the island on vacation and Alex's mistake had sent her and Justin on a journey to find _la Piedra de los Sue__ñ__os_.

Yeah, she knew Spanish! Like… okay, fine, that was the extent of her knowledge and it's only because he had said it so often that it became embedded in her brain. She only knew that and _adios_.

If she remembered those moments with him, it didn't matter what time said. If she remembered, and she did, then it happened and that's the way it would always be: a fixed point in existence. Time wanted to prove her wrong, but her memories were unrelenting. Being a wizard meant she could set back the minutes and the hours, but all someone ever had to do was remember – then time meant nothing at all.

That night by the fire, when they were alone, without a family, just each other, it was the closest Justin and Alex had ever been to revealing their feelings for each other. At least, it was the closest until he cast that miserable Truth spell and their world fell apart.

…

He could have gone on kissing her for days and it would still have felt too short. She had often imagined what it would have felt like to kiss him, and now she knew her fantasies were nowhere near the reality. When his tongue gently entered her mouth, her knees threatened to give out and she threw her arms around his shoulders for support, hanging on for dear life.

How could he be her brother?

The sheer amount of desire that flooded her body was indescribable. No boy had ever kissed her like this, no boy had ever made her feel this way, and that's because none of those boys were Justin.

The kiss quickly grew more passionate, and she found herself just wanting more and more, the greediness amazed even herself. Her hands slid into his hair and took hold there. Justin had his arms securely wrapped around her body, pressing her firmly into him. He felt incredible. He tasted so good. Alex finally understood what it was everyone was always talking about. How it was _right_.

And it was over too soon. Far too soon.

Justin broke away with a choked sound and turned his back to her. Alex was breathing heavily and tried to regain her bearings for whatever was to come, but her head was spinning, her body on another level.

"Why did you stop?" she asked after a few long moments where nothing but the sound of their rapid breathing filled the space between.

He didn't turn around.

Alex's heartbeat picked up again, this time for a completely different reason. "Justin?" she tried worriedly.

Still he didn't answer. She could see his shoulders shaking and tentatively put her hand on his back to soothe him. It had the opposite effect. He jerked away from her touch and frantically fell against the door with a thud.

"What are you-!"

"I'm sorry, Alex," he said and his eyes filled with tears. He leaned against the door heavily, unable to look at her. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry," she murmured. "It's alright. We'll… we'll figure this out."

It seemed like an eternity before he replied, and when he finally did, she wished he hadn't.

"I've already figured it out."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

She stared at the spot she was pretty sure was where Justin had conjured the shelter they slept under that night in the jungle. He had even cast a magical net around the clearing to prevent any wild animals or jumbo sized creepy crawlers from coming in (and eating them alive). It was handy having someone around who was so well versed in magic, and honestly, she didn't know where she'd be right now if it weren't for him and all messes he helped her get out of.

Alex may have started trying to up her game in the last year, but she never would have gotten that far without Justin to help her. Hell, he was the whole reason she was studying magic harder anyway. He gave her a reason to want it. He made her want to be better. He pushed her to do things and think in ways she never would have otherwise. Mostly, it was because he made her believe she _could_ do it. That was everything.

It was then that she realized how violently she was clutching her wand, dangerously close to snapping it in two.

That… _idiot_.

…

Dread seized her again at his words. What exactly did that mean: "already figured it out"? Whatever he was thinking, she knew instinctively he was going to do something stupid. Whenever he had an attack of morality (something Alex didn't understand in the least), he always ended up doing the dumbest things imaginable. Like admitting to Max that they plotted to mess up his lessons so they could spend time with Tutor (which resulted in them being attacked by a leprechaun) or telling Mr. Laritate that he accidentally saw one of the test answers on his desk and the whole class was forced take the test again, or like right now, what he was about to do right now.

"Justin…I know you're kind of freaking out..."

He looked at her wide-eyed.

"Okayyyy," she admitted and swallowed. "Understatement... Look, I'm freaking out too and I can't exactly _think _right now, but we've got to get it together! Granted this is - out there - in the 'things we've done' category, but it's not the end of the world, at least I don't think so, now just calm down and we can…"

"We can what? Talk about it?" His voice went higher than usual. "This… Alex, this isn't something we're going to talk through o-or have one of our usual fights about! This is…"

"What?" she snapped more viciously than she intended. "This is what? Go ahead… say it."

His head hung in defeat. He didn't seem much able to do anything else. "I'm sorry."

"You said that already." She could feel her impatience rising. "Justin, stop acting like this and just be… _normal _again. You're getting on my nerves."

You're scaring me, is what she meant to say, but couldn't.

"Normal? I think that went batshit to hell when you told me you-" He made a strangled noise that cut off the rest of the sentence. Alex's chest clenched painfully, he couldn't even bring himself to say the words. Didn't he just kiss her? Didn't that mean he felt the same way?

"Nothing about this is normal," he finished bitterly.

Anger began to fill in the places where pain had hollowed her out. "So you want to take it back? Is that it? Pretend it never happened?"

Her heart broke as she said the words. Tears began to form, but she stubbornly pushed them back. The idea of having to do that…to just ignore everything like it was something shameful, it stifled her to the point where she felt like she couldn't breathe. Yet it was something shameful, something abominable, but it didn't _feel_ that way. Didn't he understand? Isn't that what kissing her meant?

"You would be able to do that?" he asked sadly. "What you said to me, what I just did now, you would be able to ignore it, _forget_?"

Her voice got lost in her throat.

"Maybe you can, Alex, but I can't. Now that I know…" He looked at her with such sorrow, such guilt, she couldn't keep his gaze and turned her head away. "I'm sorry," he said once more. "I don't deserve it, but maybe one day you'll forgive me."

"Forgive you?" she echoed disbelievingly, looking back at him, but he was already halfway out of the room. "JUSTIN!"

She ran to the door, but he had already vanished from the hallway.

It wasn't until a few days later that she came across a note with his handwriting tucked underneath one of the frames in her room. It was a picture of Alex leaning on Justin's back as he played the guitar. They were both smiling.

_I love you too._


End file.
